one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey
I will wake up at three AM
And I will roll over
Into your arms.
You will rub my back
Until I fall back to sleep.
I will wait for that.
Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified neurosurgeon. I can break into people’s heads and rewire their brains and tamper with their memory, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.