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I'm distracting you, ya big turd blossom.

super-who-lockian:

yes-i-am-lucifer:

You just know nobody is reblogging this for the dog

what dog?

(Source: escaping-midnight-thoughts)

hiowl:

missmania244:

eatfithappiness:

epic-humor:

Animals Growing Up

Cuz who wouldn’t want this on their dash

The turtle one

If this doesn’t make ur day better u are wrong and you can go

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

havsglimt:

"Are you feeling fine?" Yes, I feel just fine. [x]

sharpayevons:

"At least you love me." I say to my pet as I hold them against my chest as they try to get away

sir-doge-swaggington:

evolutionofafitgeek:

liveasbravemen:

“I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.” — Chris Pratt

This just motivated the fuck out of me.

Chris Pratt is my new god

sir-doge-swaggington:

evolutionofafitgeek:

liveasbravemen:

I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.” — Chris Pratt

This just motivated the fuck out of me.

Chris Pratt is my new god

I’m not much of a man by the light of day, but by night I’m one hell of a lover!

L i f e ’ s   g i v i n g   u s   a   c h a n c e. 

(Source: pelviksorcery)

Hey Ash Whatcha Playin’? - Civilisation V [x]

(Source: fuckyeahhawp)